Pastimes

What does one do with one’s self, when there is nothing that must be done, nothing, anyway, that is both necessary and not distasteful?  I am bored.  Un-engaged.  Ideas that come to mind – jigsaw puzzles, crosswords, mind games – are truly pastimes, pass – times.  Some – TV and the like – are even sinkholes for life.  The things I generally enjoy are nothing but pass-times – knitting, reading, sleeping even.  But it is so sad, to simply wish for life to pass, that today were Friday, or the weekend were over, or finally here.   How many of us go through life that way?  And, isn’t nothing-to-do a state I have worked towards, by avoiding repeating engagements?  Am I now sorry?  I think not.  I think, rather, that I need to find some sort of engagement beyond the house, the DH and myself.  Just not one with a schedule.  What will that be?  Perhaps tonight I will dream, and tomorrow I will have more than a blank.  If not, well, there are drugs for that.